


The Kim Himchan Diary

by WaterHorseyBlues



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Diary/Journal, Drunkenness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaterHorseyBlues/pseuds/WaterHorseyBlues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heavily Bridget Jones inspired, Himchan keeps a diary (usually when drunk) of the shenanigans that go down between the members. ((Author is actually drunk during the writing of this)) - this fic has since been abandoned</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

 

Day 1

 

Glasses wine consumed: 2

Chocolate consumed: a fan gave it to me so it doesnt count

 

Dear diary,

As we have started again with and end to the lawsuit, I have decided to start afresh with a diary to keep track of my inevitable rise to main vocalist of b.a.p and undisputed visual fuck you daehyun.

Today I have had enough exercise to merit the wine and chocolate because I had to get youngjaes help toopen the wine. The cork was being a bitch and got too stuck fo r me to pull out. First time, I swear. My massive rippling muscles and all the abs that I definitely do have, have never let me down before. I blame ths schedule for wearing me out. I deserve the wine.

You know, I deserve better. Better wine,better bandmates. Quick reminder, fuck you daehyun. So, yongguks ass was quality shit today like to be hung up and framed, preferably over a mantlepiece so I can stare at it all day – which I do. Good choice of jeans stylists, love it. And then daehyun. Jung, fucign daehyun. He who would have come from satan,did Youngjae not exist. Perhaps satans newphew. Anyway. Daehyun. Dickhead daehyun. Dickhyun (nice. Good one himchan. Thanks himchan).

So, Im scoping out the booty (nice stuff). Then, Dickhyun comes along and here's what goes down.

“Nice view, right?”

“I don't know what you are talking about Daehyun, my favouirite dongsaeng the most beloved singer I could ask for. Have you considered being the visual? Yo're just so great. Anyway, I'm on my phone and I dont know what you're talking about??????????????????????”

“Hyung, I couldnt possibly take visual from you, youre so god damn ebautiful and hot, I wish I was you. But, just so you know, my favourite hyung ever yes I love you, your phone is dead.”

“Fuck”

And thats what went down.

Dickhead daehyun.

He knows too much. Perhaps consider poisoned cheesecake. Note to self: google cheesecake recipies.

Anyway, fuck daehyun. He'll never get main visual- not with that complexion (nice one himchan, thanks himchan). Soooooo anyway. That was fun diary. It's gonna be a good year, I can feel it. Especially if yongguks ass continues tobe quality choice meat. Nice.

Hoppes and dreams: himchan x yongguk, matrix album does really well, daehyun just somehow ends up hideously deformed but his voice is still good so he can continue to sing because tbh we kinda need him.

Xoxo Himchan :)

 


	2. Day 4

day 4

 

Number of glases of wine conumed: 4

chocolate consumed: still on last box so it doesnt really matter, technically saving

 

hey diary, I have been dancing my perfectly toned ass off. Today junhong is tall. He wasnt like this before the lawsuit. I mean he was tall, but good god. no. we have a tree with abs. Y god. Where are my abs?

Theyre everywhere. I have so many abs. Just sooooo many abs. Truth.

Anyway, junhong. Tall. I realised ihave to put actual effort into pinching his cheeks as hes too tall to reach easily. Hearttboken. Told him hes a n ugly brat fr growing upso much. He put my fav wine glass up on top of the wall cupboards. Digusting. Havent come out of my room for hours. There are 122 ceilieng tiles.

Hopes and dreaps: yonguk senpai notivces me < 3 junhong gets smoller again

Until nixt time diary.

Xoxo Himchan :3

 


	3. Day 10

day 10

 

glasses of wine: none ahaha aha aha im good

shots of tequila: ummmmmm.....

 

dear diry

today I said somethin funny and yongguk laughed it was the best. His smile is soperfect and genuine and his laugh is so cute. Sigh. Diary it is so hard being as pretty and perfest as I am and u prine charming wont love u back.

Also jongup is really mean lately I was just slightly too slow in the dancing ( which im super good at btw im an amazign dancer and no one appreciates) ans he just told me off in front of everyone. Im orry im too grracefl and elegant for ur angry dances jonguppie but I am too busy being the handsomest best vocalest in the group okay.

Henstly where would I be without yongguks beautiful face? This omeback has been really stressful on me and hes just a beacon of love nd understaing.

Hopes n dreams: joguppie is nicer :( yongguk lvoes me bac :)

write back soon

xoxo himchan ;D

 


	4. Day 12

DAY 12? Myab? I shoulda used dates instead of numbers this was a bad idea

 

glases of win: 3 4 5

chocolate: non

sweeets: like ½ a bag it doesnt count

 

Dear Diary

Sigh if you like someones selfie that means they gotta rlaise u love them right??? I mean like evryone elses selfies bc im a good hyung and I wanna show im supportive and care abt them but whn I like yongguks selfies he sgotta know im doing it bc I thnk hes super hot right??? right???gh hes so dense when will he understand im hitting on him doesnt he relise that my friednly behaviour and generally good attitude to himmeans I want him to throw me against a wall and fuck me until I cant see?honstly diarty he canbe so dense sometimes.

Hanyways I got some new clothes and i look super greta in them. They cover my supe hot body nicely bc lets be honest diary I hav so many abs and pecs and biceps and tricept tha tno one would be able to hanld.e im too sexy for the masses s i g h theyre not ready for my immense beauties. I do so much exersise and working out and being amazing that my muscles r literally bulging from my sweaters. My thighs arent soft ok theyre 10000000%%% muscles!!!!!!!

tday youngjae tried to insinitate that I wasnt as muscular and strong as I am he was all like

“hey hyung youre looking soft here also wow ur eyes are so beautiful did I ever tell u that?”

and I was lile “um no thats not soft thats just relaxed ABS okay imjust not tensed okay also yesi kn my eyes are so pretty you wish you were this ttracive”

and he was like “ah yeah hyung youre so attractive and cool in wish I was you”

even junhongie was amazed and enthralled by my pure beauties. True story. Every day I wake up and my dongsaengs are so amazed by my eternal grace and elegance they donte even know how they got this blessed tbh.

Anyway diary im gonnasee if yongguk will ever understnd my felings sigh its a hrd route being the prettiest and people not owing you love the sigh.

Till next time

xoxo hicmhan :)

 

ps homes and dreams : yonguk loveme please plea do tat thanks also instargam let himknow its not alike button its a LOVOOOVE button

 


	5. Day 26

day probs 23

 

wine: not techically 3 bottles.............

ice cream; some like one whole tub

sad wanks had:

 

dear diary

lisent. I jst watced the video of sexy clap liveand tbqh im just eding an entire tub of ice cream. We look lit af 100%%% ultimate couple right there when will yongguk know how good we are smh.

Mote to self; delte browser hisrory.

Ayway . Youngwapeh doing well. Good stuff. I look great as usual. With all my abs.that I hve true.you can legit see my abs junhong uses my abs those arent his thats a photoshop those are my abs that he used. Abs.

Daehyjn. Dukchyun if you will, refuses to accept my edless abs, with more abs being discovered veery day. Have lovcked self in bayhroom to avoid ridicule I mean disbelief from daehyun ut its ok because I have win. Like somuch wine.

Who needs a main vocalist anyways??i have all the gang I needright here. Im the leader, and main vocalisst and visual with all myamazing abs. The showerhead is the rapper, hes kinda slow but hes got a good beat. The electric toothbrush is our dancer hes so fast like jongup doesnt hpld a candle to these moves. Band practice was sort of slow because I ended upwatching sexyclap on my phone and here I am definitely not with my hnd down my pants okay thats not true regardless what you may have heard to the contrary. I think we have amole in the band. I suspect theshwoer head. Hes jealous of my relationship with the electic toothrbush.

Had to shuffle back to bedroom.

No dignity loss.

Nice on himchan. Thanks himchan.

 

Hopes and dreams: sexy clap 2.0 studio fver. Dahyun shuts thef fuck up

its been gret diary :3 xxxx catch uo the flipside

xoxo himchan <3

 

footnote: mayb 1 sad wank.

 


	6. Day 43 (maybe)

Day 43. maybe???

 

galsses ofwine had: 2bottls

cider had: 3bottles :/

iecreamhad: listen, its was a 2 for 1 deal n the ice cream ok this secon tub doesnt count

 

Dear diary,

I acidentally felt yongguks assit was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,amazing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i mean he has like 0 ass but thats not th point ok what little ass ther eis was qqqqulity shittt <3

will not wash hand any time soon. Have been hiding from him sincefor fear fo him catching on to my feelings even tho he needs to know but like not like this never like this ok he needs to confess to me first ok. I will not be the one ok thats now how it happens in fairy tale stores ok I am a pefect princess and hes supposed to sweepme off my feet as the dashing prince he is.

Note toself: buy crown

Funny story tho

 


	7. Day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Day: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Wine had: NONE!! I cant,,,,not today,, no wine today

Tequila had: well,,,,itwas mixed???

choclate had: only like some. Today. Im not couhnting since I las wrote

 

Dear diary ,

iam sorry for forgetting you for solong. I lost you anf now I found you again. Have suspicions daehyun may have read you. He keeps mentioning abs. Ugh must remember to keep an eye on him

noe to self: buy gag

note to self again on the prev note: nvm that sounded kind akinky nno thank

final note to self: sharpen knives

I noticed I was about to ytell you a funny sstory well eell guess what I dont remember what it was going to be. Sad times. Im sure it was going to be full of my unsctnrollable charm and wit and funny one lines ahahah not tot mention my endless abs.

Ive noticed that jongu has been distubgingly cocky lately like,,,, sayn hes the msot attrctive member of baP????????? be that asit may he shouldnt say it aloud. To my face. I, the undisputed visual of the banddo not deserve this abuse. Will not have my crown taken from me, diary.

Note to self: actually buy crown this time

I must take him down with force. Strike by night. I am the bat.

Ill cut his hair off as he sleeps

ill ruin his look for the carnival comeback JUST YOU WAIT

lmao maybe ill even suggest rattails to the stylists >:)

another thing ive noticed: yongguks shoulders are good shit go౦ԁ sHit thats ✔ some good shit right there right✔there ✔✔if i do saү so my self i say so thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ O0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ Good shit

(note: junhong as been teaching me the mey-meys so imhip with the kids :P however many of these meymeys were of frogs,ad I worry we may have distrbed him somehow as a child when we got rid of his pet. . . )

al ths noticin diary, you know what thatis???? keen eyes. Of a hawk. I have so many amazing and good wualities about me aaaanddd im disresected all the time . Disgusting . Im glad I found you again diay, its been hard coping all by my lonesome self :'(  
chat soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hopsand dreams : regain status through cunning use of scissors as always and forever EMPRROR of visuals wow perfect me go himchan

xoxo himchan <3


	8. Day :/

day: :/

glasses of wine had: tragically none

chocolate: barren

  
  


abs.

  
  


Hopes and dreams: a good gym selfie that PROVES THAT I GO TO THE GYM OK

xoxo himchan * w *

 


End file.
